Tiger By The Tail

These past six months have been so intense! I have been going through a major healing cycle the last six months.  I mean really it started two years ago but, I feel like this period has been sort of a final exam.  This month I have been taking advantage of the energy of the eclipses and the I think seven planets in retrograde to really dive into my shadows.  Shadows get a bad wrap.  I mean yes, we all love positive and joyful energy when things are going great but, the shadows are where we learn the lessons that make us stronger and move us forward if we choose.  We can also choose to live in the shadows or shove things aside and pretend they don’t exist forcing us to stay stuck.  It is not and easy or overnight process healing old wounds and changing our patterns.

Sometimes I feel like I am taking two steps forward and three steps back.  I drives me nuts because, I think am I crazy and just not getting it.  It hurts to let old emotions brew to the surface and face them forgive all involved and let them go.  Then I think as hard as that is those emotions are coming up either way and affecting our present day.  Am I putting a band aid on a gunshot wound letting those emotions seep out at any moment or am I facing the pain and stitching the shot up and moving forward?  

I have had to take a lot of time to myself and go with the flow of the process.  The more I let go of the more abundance of creativity comes in.  I use color and fashion as not only a way to express myself but, a way to feed my soul.  Color is healing and is the easiest way for me to shift and balance my energy.  Some people think if you wear bright colors and bold patterns it is because, of some need for attention.  Honestly, I really don’t care because, what other people think is none of my business. Color has always been my way of healing and connecting to a higher energy.

I have always thought what if someone did a case study on government buildings which we all know are painted some drab grey blue color.  For instance, the dmv what if instead they were painted beautiful tropical colors with plants breathing oxygen into the room.  Would that alter the energy of the employees and people having to be there?     

Sometimes growing feels like grabbing the tiger the tail but, when I step back and see the big picture it is so worth it. I am so, thankful for everything in my life up to this point because, it has made me strong as fuck and prepared me for this new journey I am embarking on.